What do I want to be when I grow up.

I’ve been having some thoughts recently regarding my choice of career. I don’t think that’s the right phrase though in all honesty, as working as an administrator is hardly a career choice for the majority of people that are doing it. It’s the sort of thing you fall into really, isn’t it? It’s entry level… No one trawls through job adverts and gets excited about answering phones, being upto your neck in paperwork and typing up letters do they? I really hope not.

I’ve fallen into this sort of job all my life, even though my qualifications and degree are generally a lot more exciting. Fitness Instructor versus Typist.. No competition! It’s easy, the money is ok (I say ok, this job is the most I’ve ever been paid!) and it’s the sort of thing you don’t have to worry too much about. Or at least, it was when I started 18 months ago. Now I’m all morose and 2003 McDonald’s jingle (ba da ba ba ba – I’m hatin’ it).
The workload has tripled, the money is the same and it’s target central every day. It’s like being strapped into a bi polar roller coaster. I think any laughter, excitement and mania is caused by delirium!!

I know it’s blatantly obvious I’m not happy in my job, but I can’t leave cos I don’t know what else to do with myself. Oh, and I really like money and shoes!! I don’t know what I want to do, what I could do or how I go about finding something else that I enjoy. I’m not sure I have the aptitude for anything else in this world. Starting again at 31 doesn’t exactly fill me with a load of confidence either. It could take me years to figure out what else I might be good at. I haven’t got years. Well I have, but you know what I mean. Having a career involves building up years of experience and I don’t like the thought of starting all over again, again.

I almost feel like I’m 15 years old again and need to seek careers advice so I can pick the best A level subjects.

The only thing I know I quite enjoy is teaching, in a fitness capacity of course, because I’ve never done it in any other environment. The fitness industry has gone to pot though and unless you’re amazing (which I know I’m not), then it’s a very tough old world. I can’t put up or keep up with the competition anymore. I’m like an old dog…. I can’t remember any of the new tricks!
I’ve considered teaching English as a foreign language, but grammatically I’m quite poor. The things I learnt in school regarding nouns and verbs don’t even exist in my head anymore. Although, that might be part of the problem. I’m just not as intelligent as I used to be or wish I was. That’s a stark and depressing realisation!!

The problem I’ve always had is that what I’d love to do is too specific. And if it’s too specific, it means there area whole deal of jobs. In all the time I’ve known what I want to do, I’ve only ever found 4 jobs in the locations I was in at the time. 2 in Northampton and 2 in Cardiff since I’ve lived here. One I interviewed for and didn’t get, the other, I simply wasn’t an option.

The other problem I have is that I get bored really easily. I need variables and change fairly often. I hate doing the same thing, day in, day out. I wasn’t built for repetition.

Maybe it’s time to start reviewing my options…
What did you want to be when you grew up, and what are you now??

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