Category Archives: Relationships

Too Soon

I’ve been brought up to believe relationships shouldn’t be rushed. You should always take your time..move slowly. Get to know one another properly before launching yourself into serious life changing decisions and events.

I’ve always passed judgement on others doing things quickly in relationships; moving in, getting pregnant, getting engaged and married after what seems like two minutes. “It’ll never work”has always been my mantra with these situations.  

Everything needs at least a year. I know some situations can’t be helped, but it’s always best to wait – isn’t it?

Guess who’s back!

A year or two ago, I mentioned I was crazy in love with a boy I met on the internet. Well, at lot changed after I wrote my confession.

After a massive argument with him, I told him I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. I only wanted a relationship and if I wasn’t going to get that, I didn’t see the point. He wanted us to be friends but always cancelled plans we’d made, so I’d had enough. This happened on 31st December 2014, and I promised myself I wouldn’t speak to him again. I started dating my ex and we played the happy couple for 6 months.

At some point early in December 2015, I was helping my friend move house. I saw a guy who looked the spitting image of him! I convinced myself it was him, bad as it is, looking as awful as he looked, I was glad. Some part of me wanted him to be unhappy without me. I had thought about him over the months, but it was just general wondering how he was and if he was with someone all happy and loved up. So, to see him looking unhappy, knowing my previous relationship had broken down, made me feel better.

I got home with it still playing on my mind and I randomly checked my emails and there it was…. An email from him, asking if we could maybe be friends. Honestly, I was over the moon to see that email. I assumed he’d seen me with my friend and asked if that was what prompted the email, but he said it wasn’t him… At least I know he’s got a hot doppelganger eh!
We exchanged a few emails and I told him I was happy to try and give the friendship thing a go. He used to be my best friend and I really missed the way we used to talk, so I was keen to see if we could get it back. It felt nice to know that after a year, he was still thinking of me.
We swapped numbers and have talked on WhatsApp most days since.

We did arrange to meet up for food, but he cancelled on me (It was Wales’ first match of the 6 Nations). I did take it to heart at first and told him not to talk to me for a bit. After a week, he apologised when I explained why I was upset. Considering that would never have happened 2 years ago without us slagging the hell out of each other, I’m calling this progress!!

It’s only been a few months of talking but we’re getting on well.
I still fancy him something rotten and I’ve told him in a round about way. I don’t know where this is going to go. I don’t know if I’m still in love with him.. I’d have to see him and touch him to tell. I don’t know if we’re only ever destined to be friends, but right now I’m just happy he’s back in my life.

I’ve missed him and he’s clearly missed me too! 😁

Relationships and Bottom Burps

I was asked by a work colleague if/ when I was likely to move in with my boyfriend. I think she was surprised to hear me say “Not yet, cos of the toilet thing”.

We’re really happy together right now and I’m almost certain I’m not yet ready to hear him go for a dump!
This promptly moved onto the topic of farting. Again, she was surprised to learn I hadn’t “bottom burped” in front of him yet. I said I didn’t like doing that sort of thing. She said wasn’t “prepared to get a stomach ache from holding it in”. This made me wonder if I’m normal!?!

I asked the others in the room who mostly replied with similar answers.

“I go to another room or the toilet to do it.”

“I go into the kitchen and open and close cupboards, loudly!”

“The only time he’s heard me fart was when I sneezed and it accidentally came out”… Haha. Yes, we all had a giggle at that one 😁.

She who farts a lot had been with her partner for 10 years, so I guess she’s past caring. Another who was married for longer still walks out of the room to ‘let it go, let it go’..

I still want my relationship to stay fluffy and fun and I’m enjoying the cloud of bodily function denial that I’m living on.¬† I suspect when I do move in with him, the toilet will be a sanctuary of the amazing lotions, potions and devices I’ve created to help ease the reminants of me having ‘dropped the kids off at the pool’.
The minute someone leaves the door open, to me, that’s the end. There’s comfortable, and there’s too comfortable! 🚽

Should I be sad?

Now all the anger has subsided from JJ cutting short our dating adventure together,¬† all I’m left with is hurt. Im hurt, but im questioning whether I have the right to be.

The whole thing from first kiss, to the state of shock he left me in on Thursday, lasted 2 months. I almost feel like im not allowed to feel this way as it was a short adventure and i spent 4 weeks of it not physically seeing him everyday. We work together, so part of the fun, thrills and excitement was in the secret glances, touches and smiles we did in the office without our colleagues noticing.
The 4 weeks we spent dating were so much fun…sneaking off for kisses, going out for food and drinks. Spending nights cuddled up, watching films, making jokes and laughing.

I think im hurt more because it was such a shock. Literally over a period of 24 hours, he decided he didn’t want to date me anymore as he wasn’t ready to be serious. Wednesday morning we were planning our romantic meal, Thursday morning he decided otherwise.

Is there a certain time frame in which one should mourn a break up? Is there a ratio? Number of weeks, months years spent together/x time?

All I know is that I feel sad, this Valentines weekend has sucked and I miss him.

I’m angry at myself

I’m angry at myself for not following my rules.

I’m angry at myself for letting someone get to know me.

I’m angry at myself for sleeping with him.

I’m angry at myself for the way he made me feel.

I’m angry at myself because I let him in.

I’m angry at myself for making future plans.

I’m angry at myself because I liked him.

I’m angry at myself because he saw me naked.

I’m angry at myself because I missed him when he was gone.

I’m angry at myself because now I feel like I wasn’t enough.

I’m angry at myself because I feel used.

Tonight he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I’m angry at HIM.