Single at any age is never fun, being female, single and 30 is a whole new level of ass sucking! I’ve been single for about 2 years now. I didn’t expect to be single for so long. I guess I just assumed like any other girl out there that things would sort themselves out in my mid 20’s…. Alas due to me being a late bloomer in life things havent quite got there. I went to uni late, so when my other friends were in long term relationships, I was enjoying my freedom at uni and discovering that I wasnt as horrendous looking as I felt!
Turning 30, eight months ago was quite a shock for me. Not just because of the age, but in terms of achievement. I try not to compare myself to others, or society, but i felt behind. I have no children, I don’t own my own house, ive never cooked a roast dinner, my phone bill is my only real responsibility and I’ve never lived with a guy!! I didn’t even have a good job at the time. Most of the anguish probably came from how unsettled I felt. Is it any wonder I spent the approaching week in tears!
I guess my lack of successful relationships (long term) impacts on how I view things. Ive had 3 fairly serious relationships. Well, 3 that I can define as having felt very strong feelings of love. The first at upper school, aged 15/16, which lasted for 7 months. The second after i left school aged 17, lasted for 3 years and the 3rd, my last one when i was 26/27. It was about 1 year of actually being together, and another year on and off because it was long distance and very complicated. Everything else in between has been a combination of flings and dating… Nothing at all to get excited about.
I have a type too, which I guess doesn’t help things. Looks wise its specific….tall, dark features, slim and a light skin tone. Of course I’ve dated others out of that range, but there hasn’t been that spark for me and probably the reason its not worked out. Personality wise, I like humour, someone who’s fairly adventurous and up for new things, intelligence, kindness and ambition. My ex was mostly perfect, we just couldn’t get over the distance.
Perhaps this is why im still single, because my ‘ideal’ man is too specific. Ive read a lot lately that its not all about looks, because they fade. Its all about whats inside that counts. Surely when it comes to finding someone you’re spending the rest of your life with, they should be everything you want? We spend time looking for the perfect things, outfit, holiday, house and jobs that are right for us. Why not extend the same attitude to the right partner?