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Under the sea

As part of our first year anniversary celebrations, the bf and I decided to go on holiday. We booked it, packed everything and off we set.

Now, I knew at some point during this holiday, I’d be coming into contact with water. Because we’d booked a self catering studio apartment, and were stay in a harbour town, I was fairly confident I wouldn’t be seeing a swimming pool anytime soon. If you’ve been on a self catering holiday with no actual resorts to stay in…I’m sure you’ll be aware that in order to swim, one must get into the ACTUAL sea.

This doesn’t sit well with me at all as I don’t like open water, and always imagine I’ll just float out to sea and drown. This might seem over dramatic, but I can’t help my water anxiety.

My bf being the natural swimmer that he is, took straight to it and went snorkelling. It took me two days to get in the water, up to my knees….that’ll be more than enough, thank you. It was freezing and I was scared and anxious. By the 4th or 5th day I’d managed to get in, up to my waist and even manage to float and do a little doggy paddle.  

On the 6th day, the sea was far too rough, so my bf sat with me right by the shore and we giggled as we got battered by every wave that came… I felt slightly disappointed with myself for not getting in properly but the anxiety of not being able to see the floor, let alone touch it if I got into any perceived danger was too much. I need an escape route….you don’t get that safety net in the sea.

So today, the final day. I clambered over these rocks and lowered myself in slowly. It was only waist deep, but I stayed sat down and moved further and further in.  I leant back and let the water rest just above my chest. I lay like that for a good 10 minutes. Finally I felt satisfied and proud of myself. I was officially under the sea.
Water 0 – Carina 1.

Contraception : The Copper IUD and Cerelle experience 

This time last year, I was very happy living in my IUD worry free land. I’d just got one put it and thought it was the start of great things. The copper coil was everything I’d hoped for. I’m a nightmare on hormonal medication. I’ve no idea why, I just know that the implant turned me into a suicidal, weepy pyscho; who berated her bf in the streets of Northampton simply because he was breathing. 

So learning about hormone free stuff which such a revelation. I read the reviews and dealt with the insertion procedure like a champ.

I had 9 months of bliss, until an illness and a course of strong painkillers and antibiotics triggered either thrush or BV. It was so bad I felt like I needed to wear scratch mitts to stop me from ripping my insides apart. 5 minutes of ‘relieving’ myself would make me feel like I’d had an altercation with Mr Freddy Kruger. I felt like a wild animal trying to find objects to scratch myself on. Walking, wearing underwear,  going to the toilet and having sex began to get very painful, so after 4 months of suffering, I had it removed. 

My nurse suggested the implant, but I told her it’d make me crazy again. After much deliberation and insisting I know my body can’t deal with the combined pill, she suggested progesterone only. I reluctantly walked away with a 3 month supply and told my bf if you notice ANY differences in me, please, just say. 

One month later and I noticed I was a little bit more teary than usual. I’m emotional as fuck anyway, but I’d be crying at literally anything. On a positive note, I did notice that my thrush had all but disappeared (Bastard coil, I knew that was you!) 

Two months in and I noticed a lot more. I have no idea what my periods are doing. I pretty much ‘spot’ every day, which is annoying.  I’m anxious, moody, very down, emotional, exhausted. I have no desire to leave the house or participate in anything other than being at home. Oh, and my sex drive has completely fucked off. I don’t even want to have sex with myself and that’s saying something! Up until a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t even want to be touched. Now, I don’t know if anyone else has had these specific side effects, but what’s the point? If I’m taking the pill to stop pregnancy and it impacts this greatly on my sex drive, it’s ultimately useless. 

I’ve just started month 3, my final pack and I think that’s the end of my Cerelle relationship. All the sides effects are still there and I’m certain this is heading towards depression. In 3 short months I’ve completely forgotten how to feel or be my normal self. I love my boyfriend and myself far too much to let this pill impact my mental and physical health like this. 

It still puzzles me that women have to put up with this shit. How hard can it really be to make contraception with less or no side effects?! 

My beauty basics

I always see loads of posts on here and instagram of ladies blogging about gorgeous new products they’ve used on their skin and how their skin looks amazing. Fair play it does. I get slightly jealous… I love trying and testing new lotions and potions, but my skin is complicated.
I have major combination skin. Part dry, part oily, part haven for spots every now and again and then major sensitivity.

I used to use all manner of beauty products to try and combat it all, but being sensitive skinned, this is quite hard. One method never fit all and finding a moisturiser for the dry parts was actually virtually impossible.
Simple products were my go to for general cleansing and St Ives facial scrubs used to be a magical exfoliating haven.

I used to swear by Palmers cocoa butter! I grew up using it and my whole family did too. My friend at school once told me I smelt of chocolate as I used it that much. After practically 20 years of non stop use, it sadly gave up the ghost.
My skin became flaky and dry, so I knew I needed something new.

I’d been trying to grow my hair and was using coconut oil for moisture.  I started using it on my whole body and since then, I haven’t stopped. In the middle of 2014, I decided that adopting the same practice on my body was a good way to go with my face.

I started using coconut oil and didn’t really notice that much difference. It was only when I went for my 6weekly eyebrow threading a few months later, that my beautician said my skin was glowing.
Not long after that, I noticed I had less spots than I used to. I’d always have a huge break just before my period but that had practically disappeared and I was just getting one or two in the odd place.
Pre 2014 I’d NEVER have left the house without make up! Personally, I’m not a massive wearer anyway, but id never have turned up to work or popped to the shop without concealer, corrector and a general foundation. People would have asked if I was ill, or dying!!

Having discovered the benefits of coconut oil, I swear by natural products for moisturisation. I’ve upgraded from coconut oil though. I now use Rosemary oil on my face, Coconut oil on my body and Shea Butter on my feet. If my skin looks a little flaky or dry, I’ll mix coarse sea salt and sugar with water or biore and it works as a natural exfoliant.

My body loves me! My skin is lovely and people always compliment how clear it looks.
Sometimes natural is best. I do miss trying out the latest products and seeing how they work with my skin. But, knowing that I can spend less than £10 a month on oils and only wear make-up when I need to, is good enough for me! 🙂 For me, Basic is better!

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